Emotional Regulation in Children: How Occupational Therapy Can Help
Children experience a wide range of emotions as they grow and learn to navigate everyday life. Feeling frustrated, excited, worried, disappointed or overwhelmed is a normal part of childhood.
For some children, however, managing these emotions can be particularly difficult. They may become overwhelmed quickly, have difficulty calming after something goes wrong, struggle with changes to their routine or experience strong emotional reactions that interfere with everyday activities.
These challenges are sometimes described as difficulties with emotional regulation.
Emotional regulation is not about teaching children to stop feeling strong emotions. Instead, it involves developing the skills to recognise emotions, respond to them and gradually learn strategies that help them participate in everyday life.
For some children, a paediatric occupational therapist can help explore the factors contributing to regulation difficulties and develop practical strategies to support the child at home, school and in the community.
What Is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation refers to our ability to notice, understand and respond to emotions in ways that allow us to continue participating in everyday activities.
For children, these skills develop gradually.
Young children often rely heavily on adults to help them regulate. A parent may provide reassurance when a child is upset, help them move away from an overwhelming environment or support them through disappointment.
As children develop, they gradually build their own strategies for managing emotions and responding to challenges.
However, emotional regulation does not develop at exactly the same rate for every child.
Some children may require more support to recognise when they are becoming overwhelmed and to discover strategies that work for them.
What Can Emotional Regulation Difficulties Look Like?
Regulation difficulties can look very different from one child to another.
Parents or teachers might notice that a child:
Becomes overwhelmed or upset very quickly
Has difficulty calming after becoming distressed
Has strong reactions to seemingly small problems
Finds unexpected changes particularly difficult
Becomes frustrated when an activity doesn't go as planned
Has difficulty transitioning between activities
Avoids situations they find challenging
Becomes overwhelmed in noisy, busy or unfamiliar environments
Has difficulty waiting or managing disappointment
Struggles to communicate what they need when upset
Needs significant adult support to return to an activity
Finds it difficult to participate in classroom or family routines when overwhelmed
Occasional emotional outbursts are a normal part of childhood.
The more important question is whether regulation difficulties are occurring frequently or significantly affecting the child's participation, relationships, learning, independence or family life.
Why Might a Child Find Emotional Regulation Difficult?
There isn't one single reason.
Emotional regulation involves many different developmental skills and can also be influenced by the child's environment and the demands being placed on them.
Sensory Processing
Children constantly receive sensory information from their surroundings, including sounds, movement, touch, sights, smells and information from within their own bodies.
Some children may become overwhelmed by certain sensory experiences, while others may actively seek additional movement or sensory input.
When a child's sensory system is already under significant demand, managing emotions and participating in an activity may become more difficult.
Communication
Children need ways to communicate their wants, needs and feelings.
When a child cannot easily explain that something is uncomfortable, confusing, difficult or overwhelming, their behaviour may become one way of communicating that something isn't working.
Attention and Executive Functioning
Skills such as shifting attention, controlling impulses, remembering instructions and adapting to changes can influence emotional regulation.
For example, transitioning away from a preferred activity may be particularly difficult for a child who finds shifting attention challenging.
Fatigue, Hunger and Routine
Regulation can also change depending on the situation.
A child who manages well earlier in the day may find the same challenge much harder when they are tired, hungry or have already spent several hours managing the demands of school.
This is one reason occupational therapists often look at patterns and context, rather than considering an emotional response in isolation.
Behaviour Is Only Part of the Picture
When a child has a strong emotional reaction, it can be tempting to focus only on the behaviour we can see.
However, an occupational therapist may look more broadly at what happened before, during and after the situation.
For example:
Was the environment particularly noisy?
Had the child just been asked to stop a preferred activity?
Was the task too difficult?
Were they tired?
Were they having difficulty communicating what they needed?
Did they understand what was expected?
Were there sensory demands contributing to the situation?
Understanding why a child is struggling can help adults respond more effectively than simply trying to stop the behaviour.
What Is Co-Regulation?
Before children can consistently regulate their emotions independently, they often rely on co-regulation from trusted adults.
Co-regulation occurs when an adult helps a child feel safe, understood and supported while they are experiencing strong emotions.
This might involve staying nearby, using calm language, reducing demands temporarily, helping the child identify what they are feeling or providing access to a strategy that has previously helped.
Over time, supportive co-regulation can help children develop a greater understanding of their own emotions and the strategies they can use.
The goal isn't necessarily for a child to manage every difficult situation independently.
Instead, support can gradually change as the child's skills and confidence develop.
How Can Occupational Therapy Help With Emotional Regulation?
Occupational therapy considers emotional regulation within the broader context of the child's everyday life.
Rather than focusing only on emotional reactions, an occupational therapist may explore factors such as:
Sensory processing
Attention
Motor skills
Communication with others
Daily routines
Transitions
Environmental demands
Sleep and fatigue
Participation at school
Play and social participation
Independence with everyday activities
This helps identify situations that are particularly challenging and strategies that may make participation easier.
What Might Occupational Therapy for Emotional Regulation Involve?
Support will depend on the individual child.
An occupational therapist may help a child and their family develop strategies for recognising emotions, noticing body signals and identifying situations that commonly lead to overwhelm.
Therapy might also explore:
Sensory strategies
Movement opportunities
Predictable routines
Visual supports
Preparing for transitions
Adjusting challenging environments
Developing awareness of emotions and body cues
Practising coping strategies
Building independence with everyday routines
For school-aged children, occupational therapists may also collaborate with teachers and other professionals where appropriate.
The aim is to find strategies that are practical and can be used in the environments where the child actually spends their time.
Emotional Regulation and Sensory Processing
Emotional regulation and sensory processing can sometimes be closely connected.
For example, a child who is particularly sensitive to noise may cope well in a quiet classroom but become overwhelmed during a busy school assembly.
Another child may seek movement throughout the day and find sitting still for long periods particularly challenging.
Understanding these individual sensory differences can sometimes help parents, teachers and therapists identify why particular environments or activities are difficult.
If sensory differences appear to be contributing to your child's regulation, you can read more in our guide to sensory processing in children.
Emotional Regulation at School
School places significant demands on children's regulation skills.
Throughout the day, children may need to:
Transition between activities
Follow instructions
Wait for turns
Work alongside other children
Cope with mistakes
Manage unexpected changes
Complete non-preferred activities
Navigate noisy environments
Maintain attention
Communicate their needs appropriately
A child who finds regulation difficult may use a significant amount of energy simply managing these demands.
Occupational therapy can help identify strategies that support participation while considering the individual child's strengths and needs.
What Can Parents Do at Home?
One useful starting point is to observe patterns.
Rather than focusing only on what happens when your child becomes overwhelmed, consider what was happening beforehand.
You might notice that difficult moments are more common:
After school
When your child is tired
During transitions
In noisy environments
When routines unexpectedly change
During difficult tasks
When your child is hungry
When there are several instructions at once
Recognising these patterns can make it easier to anticipate situations where your child may need additional support.
It can also help to remember that regulation strategies aren't necessarily one-size-fits-all.
Something that helps one child feel calm may be uncomfortable or ineffective for another.
When Should You Consider Seeing an Occupational Therapist?
Strong emotions alone don't necessarily mean a child needs occupational therapy.
However, it may be worth seeking professional advice when regulation difficulties are persistent and significantly affecting everyday participation.
For example, your child may be struggling to participate in school, family routines, play, self-care or community activities because they frequently become overwhelmed.
An occupational therapist can help explore the skills and environmental factors contributing to these difficulties and determine whether occupational therapy support may be appropriate.
Occupational Therapy for Emotional Regulation in Sydney
At Grow & Tell, our paediatric occupational therapists support children with a range of everyday developmental needs, including emotional regulation, sensory processing, fine and gross motor skills, handwriting, self-care, school participation and independence.
Therapy is individualised around each child's strengths, needs and everyday goals.
Families can access paediatric occupational therapy in Sydney, including occupational therapy from our Crows Nest/St Leonards clinic for families across Sydney's Lower North Shore, including North Sydney and surrounding suburbs.
If your child is experiencing regulation difficulties that are affecting everyday participation, our team can discuss your concerns and help determine an appropriate next step.
Speak With Our Occupational Therapy Team
If you're concerned about your child's emotional regulation, sensory processing or participation in everyday activities, contact Grow & Tell to discuss paediatric occupational therapy and current appointment availability.
